Defeat Premature Ejaculation
Premature ejaculation (PE) means coming too quickly, and it is one of the most common sexual problems in younger men. PE happens to around about 20% to 30% in men of all ages.
The medical method of determining premature ejaculation is called “intra-vaginal ejaculatory latency time” (IELT), a stopwatch-timed duration measured from the beginning of vaginal penetration until ejaculation occurs.
At the 2006 Congress of the European Society for Sexual Medicine, an American research paper reported that on average the lasting time of men with PE was 1.8 minutes and for ‘normal men’ it will last an average of 7.3 minutes.
However, this quantitative measure doesn’t tell the whole story: There are men who ejaculate within a minute but say that they don’t have premature ejaculation. And then on other end of spectrum, there are patients who are able to last for 20 minutes, and they say they do have premature ejaculation.
In other words, the definition of “premature” may be largely in the eye (or mind) of the beholder, and depends on a man’s sexual satisfaction and his perception of his ability to control when ejaculation occurs.
What Causes PE
The causes for PE is either you are just being very excited with a new partner, or an acute sensitivity of the local nervous system, which triggers orgasm too suddenly. It can also be linked to anxiety about sexual performance, stress, unresolved issues in a relationship, or depression.
How To Treat PE
Some men try to treat themselves with a local anesthetic gel that is applied to the shaft of the penis shortly before intercourse. The drawback of this method is the local anesthetic can ‘dull’ the sex sensation for your partner. It can also cause a distressing skin reaction in either partner, with intense itching, redness and soreness.
Some others try a ‘long love condom’ that contains a local anesthetic (benzocaine or lidocaine) inside it. A few guys claim that they do last longer with these condoms, but the man is still at risk of a sensitivity reaction to the local anesthetic.
There is a penis squeeze method which requires your partner to place her hand so that her thumb is on one side of the erect penis with her index and middle fingers are on the other side. The index finger will be just above the ridge of the glans (the ‘head’), while the middle finger is just below the ridge. When you feel you are near to a climax, tell your partner to squeeze on the shaft firmly between her thumb and the other two fingers.
The squeeze method technique begins with the manual stimulation of the penis, progresses to motionless intercourse and then to intercourse with both partners moving. This technique requires the partner to stimulate the penis until he is close to ejaculation. When the man is about to ejaculate, the partner squeezes just below the head of the penis hard enough to make him partially lose his erection. About 76 percent of couples who learned and used this technique had success treating premature ejaculation.
This penis squeeze method really needs to be demonstrated to you personally by an expert. Most couples who try to learn it from the Internet or a book get it wrong. So, it will be better to see your GP, or a psychosexual therapist who can teach you how to do it properly.
Recently, there is this new medication which is a tablet called dapoxetine (its trade name is Priligy). It is actually an antidepressant which has the ability to lengthen the time between sexual arousal and climax.
It is taken by mouth, in tablet form a couple of hours before you intend to have intercourse. The dose is either 30 mg or 60 mg. Dosage depends mainly on your body weight. Please note that this tablet will not cure PE. It only relieves the problem.
Possible side-effects of dapoxetine include dizziness, nausea, insomnia, headaches and diarrhea. However, if you have bad PE, Priligy would probably be worth trying. It is a prescription drug. You can obtain it via the internet, but you should have an online ‘consultation’ with a doctor first. It is extremely expensive, costing SGD167 to SGD186 (USD136 to USD152) for just three tablets. This works out at about SGD59 (USD48) every time you want to make love.
In my opinion, it will be best not to use pills because they are expensive and do not cure your PE. In this case, you can use the self-training start-and-stop masturbation method to control your sexual response.
What you can do is you set aside some private time to masturbate with dry hands. You will masturbate almost to the point of ejaculation and then stop. You do this for three times and on the fourth time you allow yourself to ejaculate. After you have achieved some measure of control on your ejaculation, you can try masturbating with a wet hand, which will feel more like the inside of a vagina.
It is often easier said than done to tell you to relax during sex because the more you tell yourself to relax, the more your mind will focus on your anxiety. If this happens to you, what you can do is, instead of focusing on yourself, you give your partner 100% attention and do all you can to pleasure her in every way she likes.
This can be oral sex, giving her an erotic massage, role-playing, etc. The main thing is to get your woman to achieve at least an orgasm during foreplay. Once she had her first orgasm, her body will be very responsive to your stimulation. As long as she gets her orgasm, how long you can last inside her will be immaterial to her. This is because most women reach orgasm not as a result of penetration but due more by clitoral stimulation.
By focusing on pleasuring your partner, your attention will be distracted away from yourself. The result is that you will feel the sense of achievement when you see your woman reaching orgasm or even multiple orgasms. You will have a satisfied partner and most probably frequent passionate sex as she can’t just seem to get enough and always beg for more from you.