It has always been my dream to visit Thailand, the sex capital of the world. When my brother asked me to join him there I didn’t hesitate to take him up on it. He is a reprobate, so I was sure we would be in for some good fun. Little did I know that I was going to have to fuck my way out of a fine, but it wasn’t all bad.
Out one night, my brother spotted a live sex show and I wasn’t in the mod for another coke guzzling, ping-pong ball popping "vagina’s" session. You have seen one, and you have seen them all.
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We went our separate ways, agreeing to meet at the hotel later, and I found a nice quite bar and settled down to meet some locals. Needing to smoke, I went outside and stood on the pavement, there was a cop across the road and his eyes met mine, so we cordially greeted one-another.
He kept looking at me and I wondered why – then I realized, he liked what he saw. He wasn’t too shabby either. I killed my cigarette and went to go back inside the bar, and as I was walking in, I felt someone take my arm.
It was the cop and very politely he asked me to accompany me to his police vehicle as he had to issue a fine. "A fine – for what?" I responded. For breaking the law was his response.
Images of a Thai prison flashed across my mind and then, I thought to ask what was the reason for the fine? "For dropping your cigarette, it is a 0 fine." Oh god, this was about all my spending money, how could I get out of this? I charmed him.
Trying to talk my way out of it, I said I was a tourist and that I didn’t know the law and was promptly told that this was no excuse for breaking it. Thinking I might end up in a Thai prison (something no-one wants) I turned on the charm and I asked him how I could avoid the fine.
So this was how I found myself in a police car, fucking with a Thai cop, illegally on Phuket Beach, and actually having a really good time. Hell this was worth every cent of the 0, and I now wouldn’t have to pay it. In fact the whole thing went down so well that he asked me out the next night.
To say that I was actually fucking my way out of a 0 fine, I was having a pretty good time. It must have been all the risks we were taking that got my endorphins kicking in all over the place. He enjoyed me so much he asked me for a real date the following night, and you know what, we still e-mail each other. Who knows, perhaps one day I will retire to Thailand.
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